thoughts from the floor…

WARNING ! GRAPHIC EMOTIONAL CONTENT….WARNING! GRAPHIC EMOTIONAL CONTENT…..WARNING!

                             A  thought occurred to me tonight as I lay on my closet floor.  No teenage girl WANTS to be shoved up against the bathroom wall,and taken advantage of. All she wants is for someone to tell her she is pretty, and to love her, to love her, to love her, to love her.

                                  I know where the thought came from. Believe it or not, it came from the one whose LOVE covers all I’ve done. It was a freeing thought, an odd thought…out of the blue, when I was thinking a million different thoughts….I am going to be okay. My kids are going to be okay. I am covered. We are covered. I have searched for a long time for a love like this, and now I need to rest in it.  

                Take away this judgement Lord, this false sense of  control….I don’t want to be like the others, I want to be like you. I want to be in love with….love. I havent been. Its the one thing that I have looked for forever, and the one thing that I have been selfish with. I am broken open, a little bit battered and shattered tonight. Forgive the mess, I am so relieved…..waste me on you.

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