Ok ya’ll.  I say ya’ll because this is South Carolina, and that was how I was raised.  I like it. Tonight,  I’m going to let it fly.  Random thoughts.  I don’t know if this post will ever see the light of day, but oh my, how I have missed you. It’s 8:30 , I’m eating nachos (gasp), I still have on every part of my work costume, from the earrings to the shoes….I came in to a storm of  he said, she said…where is she ? Can I go here ? He hurt my feelings. Thomas is working on at least 4 things at one time, and I think…aaahhh work was nice.  Just kidding.  Now that I work, I live for the weekend.  It’s solid gold to me. Even cleaning is a pleasure.  God, I miss Erin. (i mean that as a prayer).  Thomas has been so good since the whole work thing, keeping it all together, thats a gift of his.  And I am grateful.  Keeping it together….not my gift. Tearing it apart ? yes, can do….causing  a scene, losing all hope ? Yes, and yes.  Again, I say, I am grateful to him. I love him.  BUT…..since I am letting it fly, I thought I’d write a letter.

Dear friend that could’ve been, but is not,

Why do you make me feel like I am not worth your time ? My heart is good, and real. My stories are funny, and my advice right on. You don’t actually have it all figured out. I give up. No more liking your photos on facebook, fake air kissing at church, my heart is done. I wish you well, but I won’t sit around wondering why you don’t give me the time of day.

Signed,

the best friend you never had.

Please don’t take offense at this. It’s real. That’s all. I’m venting, and letting my fingers fly. I am a daughter ( not the best, looking back), a sister ( selfish), a wife ( hard to deal with  at times), a mother (all in…to a fault), and a friend (loyal, sensitive, over analyzing, sweet, sad) , to some.

Time for P.J. ‘s….this week has lasted a year, and my head is full.  Man-child is at the football game, and the littles (who are not little) are playing a game of RISK with their dad.  And there you have it.

 

 

 

 

 

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